We need to talk about your adjectives.

Hello. Were you writing something? Describing something recently?

Was it a product or a service? Was it, perhaps, real estate?

Yes; it was a house, wasn’t it?

I saw what you did. No squirming out of this one. You used superlatives and intensifiers like confetti. We need to discuss this. Now. Consider this your intervention.

Adjectives, adverbs and superlative nonsense

As you learnt in primary school, adjectives are “describing words” (while nouns are “names and things” and verbs are “doing words”).

Adjectives add to nouns only (the big house; the large tree). Adverbs are words that describe (or modify) any word including nouns, verbs and adjectives. Adverbs commonly end in “ly” (just like the word commonly, which here was an adverb to “end”).

Not really a describing word

Instead, think of adjectives (or adverbs) as “flavour words”. They are the spice that makes the noun go down.

It’s not a living room, it’s a “spacious living room”. He didn’t just walk, he walked slowly.

Some adjectives are useful—an adjective—because they add an attribute to the noun. Things like colour, pattern, design, size etc. These descriptions are essential to a complete understanding of the thing.

Likewise, some adverbs are useful because they qualify what’s going on. Adverbs should be used sparingly (see! Sparingly describes the way to use adverbs like sparingly!)

Terms of abuse

Here’s the problem: Adjectives and adverbs are used too often and frequently incorrectly.

This is not just a nit-picky, grammar-nazi thing. Words have meanings and because there are many different words to describe things, the English language gives us immense variety and nuance.

I know what you’re thinking though: “But I want my [house/car/product] to really stand out!”

Truth is, the pictures of your thing, its location (and its price) will make it stand out (if it’s ever going to stand out) to the kind of buyers who are looking for that type of thing anyway.

Words won’t change the fundamental attributes of your thing, no matter how hard you try.

And, wow, do people try!

Consider a living room in a house. How can it be described? Let’s start with size. No need to be technical, is it a big room compared with living rooms in general? Bigger than your own living room? Yes? OK, lets call it a “spacious living room”.

What does spacious mean here, though? I would argue that it means absolutely nothing at all, because spacious simply means large, which is a comparative adjective (it must be compared to something) and therefore what it means to you is completely dependent on what sized living rooms you grew up with. 

Same goes with large, and very large. Very is an intensifier, like extremely. Use them with caution -- they're likely adding to your problems.

If you grew up in palatial mansions (lucky you!) then a spacious living room would be fit for a King’s banquet. Nothing smaller would suffice. So just how big is this suburban house of yours?

The solution to the comparative problem

VERBS! Doing words! What can you do with this cavernous room of epic proportions? (Now that’s how to make it sound big!) How about fitting a 6-seat lounge setting AND a 10-seat dining arrangement, plus a few scattered occasional tables, and don’t forget the pool table?

“Room to swing a cat” is colloquial and not recommended in professional contexts.

“Room for your lounge suite and a big dining table, with plenty of space left to party!”

This kind of language not only gets the size across, but it paints a picture of how you could use the space.

Sometimes though, it really is big. Vast! I’m thinking of rooms that are 10+ meters long/wide. That’s when you can trot out the big guns like vast; enormous.

These are the extreme adjectives, the superlatives.

Don’t get hooked!

Superlatives are like heroin for writing. The first few times they feel great and seem to add punch to your description. Soon, however, you’re needing more and more of them to get the same hit.

In real estate for instance, the drug-words are the ones that emphasise “goodness”. Words like “exquisite”, “timeless”, “stunning”, “sensational”, “magnificent”.

Really, these are matters of opinion and some potential buyers would argue the point – most modern renovations are done with care, diligence and attention to detail. They use on-trend materials and looks. But to call them all “exquisite” is to dilute the meaning of the word to insignificance.

I won’t provide dictionary meanings here, they’re easily found via Google search, but it’s worth looking up a word before you use it. Is it a true description?

Instead, describe the amenity, the details, how it will feel to use it. A lighter touch on the adjectives will make them more powerful.

An approach worth trying

Try this - pick the stand-out feature, give it one of these superlatives, and leave the rest alone. Well, at least make sure the other adjectives are of a lesser degree than the superlative.

For instance, if the kitchen is marble dressed, with fine cabinetry details and attractive tap ware, call the kitchen exquisite. But not the rest of the house, stick to straight forward descriptions and words that describe what you can do/how you can live there.

A word like exquisite demands justification – it requires details that are themselves fine.

So, here goes (adjectives in bold, verbs in italics to show that we’re doing things, not just describing them):

“An exquisite, modern kitchen showcasing Italian marble, fine cabinetry, attractive tap ware and stainless-steel appliances leads to an open-plan living area featuring room for over-sized lounge and dining settings, leaving ample space to party.”

Could you live in that? I could! And what’s more, it provides information that is unavailable from photographs and floor plans alone. In other words, the copy is doing its job.

A lot more could be said on the myriad nuances of words. Some words might be very descriptive, but also awkward; “moist” anyone?

The point is this: simply thinking it through, taking care with your word choices and, notably, leaving out needless words will improve your writing no end.

Clear, concise language is powerful.

Yours in exquisite, timeless attention to detail…