An Apostrophe Catastrophe

Clockwise from top-left: You tell me what that means!; How in the heck?; I wonder if Go knows his stuff is being auctioned?; Do the hats and gloves belong to Snow Toy, perhaps?

Teasing business owners and whoever it is that does the boards outside churches is too easy. This is low hanging fruit for grammar mavens and we really should know better (and be more magnanimous generally).

These poor folks are trying so hard to get it right that they get it wrong. Not at all uncommon in English.

We all know that the god-forsaken apostrophe is the worst, most heinous and evil punctuation mark in the language. Just when you think you have it nailed, you get pulled over and booked for a stray it’s when you meant its. I should know, it happened to me once in my editing course! (Yes, I lost a mark for that, deservedly so. In an editing course, like, wow.)

Yet, for all that, the rules are pretty simple.

Two major uses and a little one.

First off, the big baddy, the possessive.

We use an apostrophe to indicate that something belongs to someone. Normally it is deadly simple – you just add an apostrophe and an s, even in names that end in s (and the extra s is pronounced, by the way):

That is James’s book.

The cat belongs to Jane. It is Jane’s cat.

There is a lot to do, there is a week’s work ahead.

But then it gets complicated.

Plural nouns that end in s just take an apostrophe without the s:

Put that in the girls’ room

I sense there is many weeks’ work there.

Generally speaking, if the plural form is pronounced without that extra ess sound, then you don’t add an s after the apostrophe. That’s why famous names like Ulysses and Moses just take an apostrophe without the extra s.

THE HARD BIT:

Pronouns. These NEVER take an apostrophe in the possessive. Which is easy for a word like ours.

That pizza is ours.

But it also applies to the possessive form of its. The pages of a book belong to the book and are thus possessed by the book:

The book was wet. Its pages were soaked.

It is the cat’s head:

The cat raised its head.

The possessive form of a pronoun never takes an apostrophe.

So, what’s the deal with it’s then? That leads us to the other major use of the apostrophe:

Contractions.

It seems completely logical – when you shorten a word, or when you join two words (or more) together, you put an apostrophe in place of the missing letters.

So, for starters:

It is becomes it’s. 

(See – simple – it’s is a completely different word to its, how could you ever get them confused?)

Will not becomes won’t.

And so on, quite familiar I’m (I am) sure.

When you join words, be a little careful:

Are not becomes aren’t, not are’nt because the apostrophe replaces the missing letter, not the space between the former two words. And then it gets curious with triple word contractions like he’d’ve for he would have (really if you’re—you are—going that far, you probably know what you’re doing and would only use that to represent speech, not in a formal writing context.)

Generally, if you can make two words out of it, an apostrophe belongs in there. If there are letters missing, an apostrophe takes their place. Be careful of old words like o’clock which is a traditional contraction of of the clock.

Finally, “clipped forms” do not need an apostrophe. It is gym, not gym’ (gymnasium). Hippo, not hippo’ and so on.

On the matter of it’s versus its, the simple test is to see if the sentence makes sense with “it is” instead. If it does, then it is it’s. If it doesn’t it’s its. Easy.

AND FINALLY, the fly in the ointment:

Unusual Plurals.

As a rule, you never use an apostrophe in a plural. This is what trips up sign writers all the time.

There’s something about seeing an s at the end of a word that makes us think an apostrophe might be needed. God Loves You becomes God Love’s You, which is doing my head in right now. What could that mean? I belong to “God Love”? Am I blessed?

There are exceptions though.

When you start referring to numbers in the plural… take this series for instance:

1,2,3,3,3,4,5,5,5,5,6

In describing this, I might say there are three 3’s and four 5’s, but then I might say 3s and 5s. Usage here varies from place to place.

Likewise, I was born in the 1970’s is a more American usage where 1970s seems to suffice elsewhere.

But if you’re referring to plural letters, you need that apostrophe otherwise it becomes nonsense:

How many o’s and l’s are there in soliloquy?

So, to summarise in general terms:

• If it belongs to someone or something it requires that apostrophe (unless it is its).
• If it is a plural, no apostrophe.
• If it is a contraction, it needs an apostrophe.

Some linguists challenge the need for the apostrophe at all, saying that you can usually understand the meaning in context.

With this in mind, I hazard to suggest: if in doubt, leave it out when it comes to apostrophes. This works because then the only mistake you’re likely to make is the its/it’s one. The contractions normally make perfect sense without the apostrophe. Plurals basically shouldn’t have them, and the possessive form is mostly common sense.

Happy trail’s trails…

This is why you need me.

Why?

It's the crucial question, isn't it?

If I can make you believe that my services will make your life better, then I'm at least half way there, right? Then it's just "how does it work?" and "what will it cost?" and other minor questions.

Professional writers produce professional writing. Obviously.

You can expect that if you use a professional writer like me (letter writer, copywriter, ghost writer, editorial/advertorial writer etc.) you will get professional text at a high level of competency - good spelling, grammar, structure, and a little pizzazz that makes the copy sing (and makes you look great and sells your product/service).

So, great writing skill is not really a selling point, it's a given.

Do better things with your time.

As I am sure you are aware, writing takes time. Researching, planning, crafting and drafting a piece of writing requires care and time. It is also something you probably don't do regularly because you are busy with your core business (or your life – you know, enjoying it!)

There are a lot of writing tasks that are secondary to your immediate business, but which are critical to your image/marketing and therefore your future business. These all take time.

Some examples

- Writing a column in a newsletter or magazine – makes you stand out as an expert.

- Posting regular blog posts gathers followers and improves your profile.

- Writing copy for your website that actually works for your business.

- Writing brochures and reports.

- Simply writing a well-worded and persuasive letter.

A major benefit.

What is the major benefit for my clients? You guessed it: time saving.

Just brief me and you'll get well-written copy promptly, rather than have to slave all day over it yourself.

I'm available to work through it with you to ensure it meets your needs precisely.

What is your time worth? 

(Most people in business can estimate this fairly well and it can be shocking to realize how much you have “spent” by trying to write a blog post for 6 hours).

So, the why is straightforward – make writing an easy part of your business. Stand out as a great communicator without cutting into the time you need to run your core business. And, of course, save a whole lot of time and stress.

It’s a no-brainer really. Except that it isn’t: getting me to write for you is a really smart move.

Get in touch today!

3 things I've learnt from writing real estate copy

I have a few suggestions; both for real estate agents, and for buyers and sellers, but we'll get to that.

I've written copy for hundreds of properties. It means that I walk in and visit between 15 and 30 properties a week. It can be even more during the busy seasons of Spring and late summer. Every day, after visiting all these properties, I have to sit down in front of my computer and come up with creative ways to present the benefits in a way that not only describes a property but also sells it to the right kind of buyer. What do I mean by that?

You only need one

Well, as any real estate agent knows, sure, you have to market a property broadly, but in the end each property only needs one buyer. In the end, all this marketing eventually comes down to one person, one individual who thinks "that's the kind of property I want."

Nudging you towards the property

I seem to be saying vague things here. I use the words "kind of" because an important distinction needs to be made between what the advertisement for a property does, and what the real estate agent does when there's a potential buyer in the property. Put simply, the written copy on the ad does not sell the property.

Instead, the purpose of the ad is to start the customer down the slippery slope towards a sale. If my ad causes an individual to decide to turn up to a home open, then the ad has been a complete success. This might sound like a cop out, and for a while I was a bit uneasy about thinking of it in these terms. But then I stopped and I thought about how you actually search for real estate; something I am personally in the process of doing right now for my family. When you go onto a listing site like realestate.com.au you're already a fairly motivated and interested consumer. You've already got and idea of the kind of property that you would like to rent buy or invest in. You've probably got an idea of the area if you're looking in, and some pretty firm opinions about price range and the basic features that a property requires. You may also be educated in the state of the market, and particularly in what you're looking for; how to spot quality etc.

You are a highly educated and motivated consumer; but there's a lot of property out there and you only have so much time. How do you decide?

The copy paints a lifestyle picture

You search for your basic requirements and you look at the photos and see if it's something you might like. You look at the floor plans to see if it'll work for you.  You look at the map to see if it's in the area that you want to live in and then you read the copy, because you might have missed something like a garden studio, attic storage; something that you can't see in the photo.

Then the copy will relate to you the feel of the property and lifestyle it could grant you. Which school zone it's in, other delights. These are the details that bring it home, that get you emotionally involved. This starts make you feel warm about living there. It begins to put you inside the property and make you imagine how it will make you feel. Think of this as the point at which a car dealer might say, "Hey, why don't you take it for a test drive?" If all of this resonates with you there's really only one more thing you need to do and that is going have a look at the property. So, assuming the agent makes that easy for you, the advertisement has now done it's work.

I said I had some advice. I do, but my real purpose in this post was to describe what a real estate ad is doing, and what it is not doing. It's not a plain description of the property, and yet that is in there. It's not a strong sales pitch, nor a novel, because no one has time for that. Instead, it is a quick picture of the place and how it would be to live there/own it.

What are the three things then?

Well:

1. It's not just a description.
2. There's actually a lot to it, and a lot to consider and include.
3. You need to remember standard sales copy principles, such as a hook, and call to action.

I guess I should also add that I am busy as the proverbial one-legged riverdancer right now, and it takes a lot of effort to get around and see properties (especially with big family homes, it's better to visit to get that personal feel and touch, but it's a nightmare on scheduling!)

For the buyers, allow yourself to get lost in the copy - if it resonates, go view the property. These things are written with what I might term, "exuberant honesty". It paints the property in a positive light. If you don't subsequently like it, well it's not the property for you. No loss but a bit of time, and you've made your way closer to the perfect property.

For sellers, demand the best. The copy, the photos, the floorplan, they all make a difference. A big difference.

For agents, get it right and the campaign should be a breeze. Take the time, or get some help, it's more cost effective than you might think. If you want great, effective copy on your property ads, drop us a line today.

Is your property sales copy boring?

Because if it is, your sales might be flat too.

There’s no point in me sugar coating it. If the copy on your ads does nothing more than describe the property, then it does nothing to sell the property. You need to target your specific buyer market with your words.

You don’t need a simple property description; potential buyers can already see what it’s like from the professional photos (you do use professional photos, right?)

Good copywriting sells. What it does is connects vendors’ property with the buyers’ desires. It plants a story in their minds as to why they need this property; how they would live there; the lifestyle they might enjoy; or the easy investment returns they might make.

You want to inspire a potential buyer, so as to inspire faster sales and higher sale prices (and better commissions!)

Professional property photographs are essential these days, but without the words, they are a series of dots without connections. The words fill the gaps and tell the story. The copy gives them a reason to buy.

But you don’t need to toil away at this for hours! Incorporating top-notch sales copy into your marketing is easy: if you’ve got a property that needs powerful, persuasive copy, just drop me a line and I can do it for you, at reasonable rates and with a fast turnaround to make your job easy. Make your listings tell stories that leave buyers inspired!

Is your business writing healthy? You may need help.

Have you stopped to think about all the written content you have out there? You might not realise how important it is. Not because you don't care, of course you do, but simply because you haven't stopped to think about it. Below is a list of copywriting moments for you. Think of it like a copywriting "health checklist" for you and your business.

1. Your website.

Seems like a no-brainer, right? Wrong. A lot of thought needs to go into the copy on your website. It's not enough to have a rudimentary explanation of your service, or a bland product description. You need to ensure that visitors understand how they can benefit from your product or service. What part of their life or business needs help, needs fixing? How does your offer fit into their story? Are you making it easy for them to understand you and see why they need you?

2. Your blog.

The centerpiece. The point of departure; the point of arrival. Your blog is where your story takes shape, and where people come to understand you. They visit your blog to learn. They will come to respect you and follow you. You bring people into your tribe through your blog, and all the other social media should hang from this fruitful tree. The better the writing, the more likely it is that people will stay, and, crucially, the more likely it is that they'll actually understand you. You need to be absolutely sure that what you write really says what you mean. That's where good grammar, punctuation, and spelling is critical; as is a good helping of rhetorical skill.

3. Business copy.

All of it: your brochures, your company reports, your letters. They must read well. Your marketing materials need to be catchy and informative. If not, they simply will not do their job. Selling is a dirty word these days, but selling is what you do. It doesn't have to be like bad daytime TV though. Well-worded copy has a magical ability to persuade without annoying the crap out of people.

4. Editorial content.

Many businesses (and people) write articles and other content for magazines and other publications (both in print and online). Well, they should, that is. Getting your words under somebody else's masthead lends credibility and prestige to your name. It builds your reputation as an expert in your field. Again, those words will need to be well crafted. In fact, you probably won't get published if they're not.

I'm not kidding about the importance of doing all this, and doing it well. Perhaps the only thing worse than not getting your message out there is hashing that message so badly that people actually think you're talking about something else (or worse still, they have no idea what you're talking about at all).

Here's some ideas for working all of the above into a STRATEGY. (Yes, you need one.)

 A. Think about what your business really is. Where do you fit into the life of your customer? How will you change their lives? Or, better, how will understanding your customers change you?

B. Get advice. Find a writer who can look at all the aspects of your written content, talk with you and your team, understand you and your business. Then let them at it for a while. You'll see improvements from day one.

C. Get help on any of the above. Don't have time to write a blog? Get it written for you. Why not put out a regular newsletter? Include your market commentary, talk about local events. Send it to your client list. Send it to your leads. Do it regularly. A good writer will even be able to suggest topics and ideas, making it easy for you to get good content out there regularly.

The internet age has reinforced the importance of writing. Google seeks out good writing and grammar in their search. It's more important than ever. Do it well, and do seek help if you need it.

It's also a lot of fun to tell stories. Make yours great.